Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Gotta case of the love bipolar

On Monday, I was riding high with my writing. I sat down at ten and didn't emerge from my scribbling frenzy until four. There are people for whom six hours straight of writing (I'm looking at you Amanda Hocking) is nothing. But for me, that's a freaking marathon.

And when I finished, I loved my book. It was brilliant. It was a masterpiece. The characters were tiny gods. The story was riveting. The words were electric.

Then there was yesterday. I eked out a whole scene, reread it and decided it was awful and needed to be cut. Then I started the half-hearted perusal of other parts of the manuscript, just so I didn't have to write anymore. And you know what? It was terrible. The characters were one-dimensional. The story was one big, fat cliche. The words were clunky and pointless. The book effing sucked.

I feel like I am a writer in adolescence. The highs are Everest, the lows Death Valley, the self-consciousness absolute. I cannot get a handle on my emotions. And The Book? The Book is The Boy. You know, that boy. The One. The greatest crush of my life. And one day he talks to me, and that day takes on a sublime perfection. Then the very next day he ignores me completely, and life is a soul-sucking pit of blackness and despair.

Yeah. That's pretty much how it feels.


  1. Yeah, I totally know how you feel. I applaud your 6 hour writing session, however, seems like since school started this year I haven't been able to do much writing, or even force myself into it.
    This feeling you're having with your books though, sounds like what I was feeling a few months ago. A lot of despair...just not liking my third book. So I took a break (more like a forced one) and have just now rediscovered my love for it. Idk if it takes time or what...or if all writers go through it. I felt really bad, like I was betraying myself as a writer, but then again, I think I just needed to learn some things, and now I am very happy with the way this book is turning out. I found that the ideas I had previously where merely out of order, and I wanted a better way to begin.
    Perhaps you can focus your attention on short stories or another story? Idk. Hope that helps!

    Good luck with your writing!! :)

  2. You are not alone! The determining factor, though, is if you stick it out and just write. That is genuinely all it takes. Just keep writing. If you do that, you will find success.

    Sarah Allen
    (my creative writing blog)

  3. I can't say I completely empathize because I gave up writing quite a few years ago, but it was kind of the same case... I would go back and read my "genius," which turned out to be HORRIFYINGLY bad. That's when my eighth grade self decided writing is not the path for me. And I'm pretty sure that's true.

    BUT if you really have such a strong passion for writing, keep going! Even if you think your book sucks, at least that's the first step to "fixing" it, right? That shows improvement as a writer and I'm sure, in time, you'll get to a point where you'll be 100% proud to call The Book your baby. :)

  4. Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. It is very much appreciated!

  5. This is completely normal. Welcome to the crazy that is the writing life. Another good reason to have quality CP's and writing talk you down from the ledge...and give objective opinions on what truly does and does not suck.
    Also, it takes slogging through a lot of crap to get better at writing less crap. And, crap can be revised, thus it's okay to write crap. :)

    And one last note, writing for 6 hours, is something to be proud of.